Beautifying Bernadette: A BBW Romantic Comedy (The Jackson Tribe Book 1) Page 2
Judah still grinned like a Cheshire cat, but took compassion on his brother and changed the subject to share a story about his elderly secretary and her antiquated ideas of what a minister should be doing.
Chapter Two
Three months later at the courthouse…
Bernie walked into the courtroom nervously glancing around. She had gone out and bought a new sundress for the occasion. It had an empire waist and was rather flattering, if she did say so herself. Because of the way she carried her weight, and the style of the dress, she had already had two well-meaning ladies ask when she was due. Normally, this would have sent her to the restroom in a fit of self-pity, but today that was exactly what she wanted. She wasn’t sure that Officer Jackson would even be there, but just in case he tried to make good on his threat, she wanted to be ready for him. It wasn’t like he was going to ask her to pee on a stick. She sat near the back of the room and waited for her number to be called. She had never had to appear in traffic court before, but she had researched a lot in the last few months, so she wouldn’t have any surprises. She hated surprises. She had curled her hair that morning and it fell just at her bra clasp in the back. She’d added just the right amount of makeup and body spray. Bernie wasn’t sure why she was wanting to look good for Officer Jackson. It didn’t matter, she was supposed to seem pregnant and married, not desirable or interested in him. She needed him to buy her story from before. She was working hard to reach that end, and yet she couldn’t stop her heart from racing. She looked around hoping he was there, hoping he would see her, and think she was attractive. But, she reminded herself she couldn’t afford the fines or loss of license that would come if her lies were found out. Speaking of which, she reached into her purse and put on a simple silver band she had bought at Claire’s. No one needed to know it was cheap metal, and it made her look official. Bona fide as her father would say. She pulled out her phone to check her email while she waited.
***
Levi strode into the courtroom in his full uniform. He had appeared to testify in countless cases in the last three years, but he had never put quite so much attention into his appearance as he did today. He wanted to be intimidating, but not scary. He had plans. Just as he started to look around, the bailiff called out, “All rise! The Honorable Judge Gwaltney presiding,” and the cases began.
Levi actually had two cases to testify on today, but the first was a very simple case of an older lady who had been charged with reckless driving. He smiled a little as she admitted to it happily. “At eighty-years-old I need to do things quickly! Lord knows how much time I might have left. I’d rather pay a fine than lose a moment.” Several people in the gallery twittered. Judge Gwaltney gently shushed them, and sent the lady on her way to pay her fine. Judge Gwaltney told her sternly that if he saw her again in his courtroom, she’d need to retake her driving test. She clucked at him unworriedly and the proceedings continued.
Finally, Ms. Douglas’ case was up. Levi sat up a little bit straighter and allowed himself a glance around the courtroom. There she was! Her strawberry blonde hair curled just right, her pert lips and curvy—his mouth dropped a little, but he caught it in time as he watched her waddle up to front of the room. By George, she really was pregnant? He had been so sure for the last twelve weeks that she had been lying, he’d never considered that she could be a pregnant, married, woman. His mouth went dry and his stomach turned. Well, obviously he would not be pursuing anything with her. He couldn’t believe he had spent the last few months lusting after someone else’s wife. He felt sick.
Bernie intentionally shifted her weight from foot to foot, sticking her belly out, rubbing it a little, playing up the “pregnancy card.” She noticed Officer Jackson looking at her and could tell he was surprised. She smiled a self-satisfied grin and stood behind the table the bailiff ushered her to. She gave Officer Jackson a “What now?” look and stared him down. He looked sick to his stomach and she felt a twinge of guilt, but held it in check. The school year was about to end, and she didn’t have spare cash to be throwing at frivolous traffic tickets. The judge looked over her case and asked if she had anything to say.
“Yes, sir, I am genuinely apologetic! I swear didn’t even see the signs that I disobeyed. I have worked super hard since then to obey all traffic laws and haven’t had any more trouble.” She didn’t mention that she just hadn’t gotten caught again.
“I know what I did was wrong, and I am willing to take full responsibility.” She tried to look contrite. “Authority types” really liked it when you took responsibility and were sorry. The judge did look pleased at her demeanor, and turned to Officer Jackson, and asked him what he thought.
Levi almost groaned at her smug look, the judge might be buying her little charade, but he could see right through it. He rubbed his palms on his pants to get rid of the itch and spoke respectfully to the judge. “Yes, sir. I was the officer who oversaw this interaction.”
He glanced at Mrs. Douglas and remembered his promise. Even if he did think she was a little brat in need of a serious spanking, he had given his word. “I believe that Mrs. Douglas has been appropriately warned of her actions, and is seeking to make better choices in regards to her driving habits. I would like to ask the court for leniency.”
The judge’s face showed his surprise as he looked at Levi. He had read the young officer’s report, and it had been very clear that Levi had felt the lady had been seriously in the wrong. “Are you certain about that, officer?”
Levi nodded.
The judge looked sternly at Bernie. “Young lady, this court is prepared to offer you a substantial level of leniency, but it comes at a cost. If you are ever standing before me for so much as an expired parking meter I will make sure that you sorely regret your choices. Understood?”
Bernie nodded wide eyed, not even faking it or putting it on this time, she genuinely felt like her tummy was in her toes. “Yes, Your Honor. I promise. I will be the most responsible, least distracted driver you’ve ever met.”
The judge nodded. “Pay the court fees, and you may go.”
Bernie nodded her head eagerly and practically ran out of there.
Levi shook his head and packed up his things as well.
***
Bernie looked in the mirror and grinned. She had found the perfect red swooshy dress at the store on clearance, and she actually liked how she looked. Well, sort of. She sucked in her belly and picked at the zit on her chin. She liked how her boobs looked at least. It was the one part of her anatomy that wasn’t gross. She had incredibly full breasts, and they filled out this dress amazingly well. She slipped on her sparkly silver heels and did her hair in a messy bun with ringlets. That reminded her that she needed to get it cut again. It almost reached the middle of her back and was a bitch to keep up off of her neck. She quickly did some make up repair on her face. The doorbell rang and she groaned still staring at herself in the mirror.
“Ugh, close enough.”
Her best friend, Ashley, had talked her into going to a new club called Glitter tonight. They were having half price drinks and were supposedly pretty clean and not too seedy. Bernie liked dancing and letting loose, but she was always nervous about overdoing it. Ashley had no such qualms and could usually talk her into leaping right outside of her comfort zone. She opened the door, and Ashley grinned at her. She always felt a moment of “Whoa is this my life?” when she saw Ashley. They were diametrically opposite. Ashley had dark brown skin, a naturally size two waist, arms and legs that went on for miles, and paid a small fortune to make sure that her hair was always perfection. Today that perfection was waist length braids. She wore a slinky sparkly silver dress that barely covered her ass and heels that made her tower over Bernie. They were normally about the same height. Bernie always had to battle a moment of insecurity and doubt when she saw Ashley. Why would a hot girl like that have any desire to be with a cow like herself? But Ashley had proven time and time again that she was a faithful friend to Bernie.
Bernie laughed, “Let me get a sweater. I know it’s hot today, but those places are always freezing.” She grabbed a black sweater and glanced in the mirror again. She would never be pretty or cute or attractive, but for what she was capable of she felt pretty good about herself tonight. Slipping into Ashley’s car, they sped down the road, Ashley’s driving was even more insane than Bernie’s, but she was used to it. They blasted Kesha and Meghan Trainor and Beyoncé all the way to the club.
After finding a parking spot, Ashley looked at Bernie. “Okay, first we need to spray you with some of this new perfume I got. It’s like natural pheromones and will make the guys go wild. You always go too subtle in the aromatic arena. Secondly…” She reached over and started manhandling Bernie’s breasts.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hands off the merchandise!”
“No! Your boobs are going to get us in with no cover charge; my mosquito bites are useless here. Between my ass and your double-D’s, we’re going to have the red carpet laid out for us tonight.”
Bernie rolled her eyes, but felt a little pride at Ashley complimenting her breasts. It was so rare that she felt pride about her body. She liked to relish it when she got a chance. She made sure they were pushed up and out as she and Ashley walked towards the bouncer. Guys in the line started whistling and catcalling. Ashley shook her ass at them, and Bernie giggled. She wasn’t confident enough to shake her “assets,” but she did love the attention. The bouncer let them in without a word and no charge. He just stamped their hands to say they could drink and ushered them inside. He didn’t even ask for IDs. He just looked lecherously at them as they walked past.
The room was lit well, with tables and chairs scattered around with no apparent order. There were several glass beverage dispensers on the edges of the room with lemon and orange water with nice glasses. It was fairly full, but didn’t feel smothering. There was plenty of room between the dance floor and the sitting area. It had a nice layout. The music was loud enough to really dance, but not so loud Bernie felt like her eardrums were going to burst.
Ashley immediately dragged her over to the bar and ordered shots. Bernie groaned, because the last time she and Ash went out, she had woken up covered in her own vomit on the floor of some guy’s apartment. He’d swore up and down, that only he and Ashley had “done it” and she had just come along for the ride. She had zero memory. It was a fairly common experience for her in the last decade that she was dragged along on Ashley’s insane hook-ups, but nothing ever made it less uncomfortable. She would be reticent to admit it, but equally as common was not remembering a lot of her evenings with Ash. She wasn’t sure how she had kept out of serious danger, but so far nothing truly bad had ever happened. She wanted to keep it that way.
“Ash, I need to take it easy toni—”
Ashley shoved a shot into each of her hands and yelled, “Bottoms up!”
Bernie groaned, but did it anyways. She wasn’t going to let it be said of her that she wasn’t up for a good time. The alcohol burned as it went down and settled in her belly. She could feel its effect almost immediately. She wondered if she should have eaten something, but she’d really wanted to look good in the dress so she hadn’t eaten since dinner last night. Ashley ordered four more to split between them, and Bernie didn’t even have the strength to groan, she just decided to go with it.
Once they were adequately sloshed, they went out to the dance floor and started going crazy. The alcohol in her system lifted Bernie’s inhibitions enough to really let loose. Laughing, dancing and feeling good about the world, it wasn't long before she was weaving all over the dance floor. Bernie giggled to herself. Dude. I don’t usually feel it this fast. This is fun. Catching sight of a guy in a nice shirt who looked like he was a smooth mover, she decided to just go with it and completely let loose. There was no reason to wait for Ashley to set her up with a hottie tonight. She'd just take the bull by the horns and handle it herself.
She danced over to him and “accidentally” fell into him. “Whoops, sorry, buddy, didn’t mean to… Oh my god, aren’t you that cop? What are you doing here?” Bernie’s blood rushed to her head even more than it had been when she realized she was standing next to Officer Jackson. In a really low cut dress. Pretty intoxicated. Her head was super swimmy. She tried to play it cool, but somehow the booze was making that much harder. “Yo! What’s up? How’s it hanging?”
Levi just stared at her for a moment. “Mrs. Douglas? What am I, what are you…” At that moment Ashley came over with more shots and gave Levi a hungry look. Hungry for “man candy.”
“Hey, sexy, you can have some with us…” She sloshed a shot at him. Bernie giggled and reached for the glass.
Levi instinctively swatted her hand away from Ashley’s. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You can’t take shots when you’re pregnant!”
Bernie pouted at him and then scrunched her face. “I’m pregnant?”
Ashley looked between him and Bernie, letting out a loud long laugh, and practically shouted. “Pre-pre… pregnant? She isn’t pregnant! She’s never even had sex.”
Bernie was very confused by the yelling and the words and the life, so much life! She slid down to the floor in the middle of the dancers and started giggling. She didn’t know why, but this was all really funny.
Levi quickly assessed the situation and pulled Bernie up to standing and helped her over to one of the chairs. He sat next to her asking gently, but in a clear tone, “Are you okay? Does anything hurt?”
Bernie giggled more and just shook her head. “Uh-uh. Just my butt… my butt, I hit my butt. Like if I’d gotten that spankin’.” She just kept laughing, remembering for a moment she had told him she gets her butt spanked. She was really into butts right now. It was the funniest word she had ever heard.
Levi shook his head and turned to Ashley. In a tone that left no room for argument, he spoke loudly above the music and gestured towards the water coolers, “Go get her two full cups of water. Now!”
He couldn’t believe how irresponsible the girls were and wanted to throttle both of them. But instead he turned gently back to Bernie and rubbed her back, she had stopped giggling and was looking a little green around the edges. “Are you going to vomit, Mrs. Douglas?” He calmly reached over and grabbed an empty waste basket and held it up to her.
But Bernie shook her head. “Uh uh, I jus’ needa lie down… jus’ for minute.” She leaned over with her head on his lap and closed her eyes.
He couldn’t help but stroke her hair gently, liking the messy bun she had going on. He liked all of it—the dress, the cute lisp she got when intoxicated, her breasts falling out of the dress. But he definitely felt like something was most certainly not adding up.
He gave Ashley a nod when she came back over, asking clearly, “Did you drink some water as well?”
Ashley nodded. “I’m not crazy and can definitely hold my liquor more easily than my Bea—girl” She looked at her a little guiltily. “It wasn’t even that much. I mean four shots, and my night is just getting started.”
Levi sighed and counted to ten in his head. “I take it you and Mrs. Douglas are friends?”
Ashley nodded again. “Yeah, I’m Ashley White. That’s Bernie Douglas. We’ve been besties for years. And, I know my last name is ironic.”
Levi didn’t even register her comment; he was completely focused on Bernie. “Okay, and she had four shots tonight? How long was it in between? Did you girls have dinner beforehand?”
Ashley looked a little uncomfortable. “Um, like thirty seconds? We took them like fifteen minutes ago. And, no, we didn’t eat together. We met up after. She shouldn’t be this sick though. I’ve seen her drink way more than this before, she gets really drunk, but she doesn’t usually get sick until a lot later in the night.”
Levi worked hard to
keep a neutral tone. “And you’re sure she isn’t pregnant? Where is her husband? Does he know she is drinking?”
Ashley looked seriously confused. “Husband? She doesn’t have a—” She stopped and stared wide mouthed. “Wait, shit, are you that cop who pulled her over and took her to court?”
Levi smiled a little and then nodded again.
Ashley looked him up and down. “Frack. She wasn’t kidding. You are a tall drink of water! Damn. But uh… no. Bernie isn’t married or pregnant. She just really didn’t want a ticket, and also was super embarrassed she made up that story. She told me she felt trapped, like she had to follow it through to save face.”
Levi scowled. “She needs to go home. And, I am happy to give you a ride as well.”
Ashley shook her head. “Hell no. We just got here. If Bea needs to go, I’ll call her a cab, but I ain’t leavin’ for a good long time.”
Levi scowled towards her again, but merely asked her in a mild tone, “What is her address? I will take her home, and I would prefer that you accompany us, but obviously cannot force you to do anything.”
He helped Bernie sit up, leaning her against him, and started feeding her sips of the water, gently reassuring her as she swallowed bits of water.
Ashley pulled out her phone. “What are your deets? I’ll just text it to you.”
Levi rattled off his number, and Ashley sent him two texts; one that just said Yo it’s Ash and then another with Bernie’s address and apartment number. She also saved him to her contacts under “Hotty Copper McHotster.”
“Are you certain that you don’t want a ride? I don’t think it’s wise to stay here intoxicated on your own.”