Beautifying Bernadette: A BBW Romantic Comedy (The Jackson Tribe Book 1) Read online

  She laughed. “Nah, just a little dizzy. I had a rough night.”

  He sobered a little and nodded. “Well, let’s get you some breakfast. It’s been at least twelve hours since you’ve eaten.”

  Bernie gave him a look, and then, boldly looking at her phone, she glanced back, and said in a fake haughty tone, “It’s been thirty-eight, thank you very much!” and started to giggle, but the look on his face stopped her short. “Wha-what’s wrong?”

  He scowled at her and slammed his mug down on the counter. “You haven’t eaten in over thirty-eight hours?”

  She bit her lip, she hadn’t expected him to care—she was just teasing. “It’s not a big deal, I know I’m a cow, but I do—”

  His hand ended up over her mouth. “Shut it. I am not going to listen to you demean yourself. You have epic curves, but you’re far from obese, and, even if you were larger, there is no ‘cow’ here. Ever.”

  Bernie shook her head defiantly, but her tummy was flipping in a nice way. “Hey! Hands off. What I was trying to say is despite being fat, I have self-control when I need to and can easily go a day or two at a time without food a week. It’s totally normal, but, that said, I am so ready for IHOP.”

  Levi continued to scowl at her, but decided to table this discussion along with the other. “All right, get dressed and we’ll go down to my truck in fifteen. Is that enough time?”

  Bernie saluted him. “Aye aye, captain!”

  After styling her hair in a high ponytail, Bernie scrutinized her face in the mirror. Ugh. She applied foundation and cover up, a sassy pink lipstick, glittery light green eye shadow and copious amounts of mascara and some blush. Once she felt like she wouldn’t scare any small children with her face, she went to her closet. Decisions, decisions. She put on her black “skinny” jeans with some wedges that added about four inches and a flirty low-cut hot pink paisley tunic. After tying a hot pink ribbon around her head, she practically skipped back out to the living room and grinned impishly.

  “Thirty seconds to spare.” Levi laughed. “And good thing too. I am starved. I may have had to come hunt you down at thirty-one. You look very cute.”

  Bernie bit her lip and looked at her feet. “Thanks?” She knew he was just being nice, but it still made her tummy, and other parts, feel nice.

  Chapter Four

  As they walked through the lobby, Juan, the doorman on duty this morning, flagged them down. “Miss Douglas, Pete asked me to check on you, and see if everything is acceptable with you?”

  Bernie gave him a confused look, but Levi nodded at him saying clearly, “Please tell Mr. Pete that everything is kosher, and there is no need to be worried.”

  Juan gave a light smile and nodded. “Noted. You two have a good day.”

  Levi helped Bernie into his truck and, once they were both buckled, he pulled out. “So, had you ever been to Glitter before?”

  Bernie shook her head. “Nope, they just opened a few weeks ago, and the list was always crazy to get on, but I guess Ash worked her magic last night. Oh yeah! Let me check with her.” She pulled out her phone and sent a quick text.

  R U Alive? You gave HawtCop your keys? He’s STILL HERE!

  Turning back, she grinned at Levi. “I am so ready for breakfast. I think some fruit salad, and maybe I’ll splurge on a buttery slice of cinnamon raisin toast. That would really hit the spot.”

  Levi shook his head, but didn’t speak.

  Bernie noticed his look, but didn’t push him on it. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

  Looking out the window, Bernie tried to think of things to talk about. “So, if you went home with me last night, how’d you change clothes? I certainly don’t have random men’s size clothing in my apartment.” She gave him a cheeky grin.

  He returned it with a witty, “Oh! I just borrowed some from your neighbors.”

  She looked shocked for a moment. “Which one?”

  Letting out a belly laugh, Levi responded quickly. “None. I was just teasing. I keep a go-bag in my car for nights where I am kept extra late at the station.”

  He gave her a teasing grin. “Or if naughty little girls need rescuing.”

  Bernie’s tummy fluttered, and, in an attempt to stop the feelings, she moved onto another topic that had been concerning her. “When I puked last night, did it get on you?” She had a vague recollection of vomiting and it hadn’t been alone on the bathroom floor like usual.

  “Yes, you vomited, but no, it was not on me. You got a little on your carpet and I scrubbed it up. And obviously the quilt that I started washing.”

  Shit nuggets! Bernie was mortified that she had forgotten about that quilt. “I told you not to mess with it! I’d have han-handled it.” She felt tears filling her eyes, fuck now you’re a damsel in distress and a cry baby. She felt her throat closing up and tried to breathe through her nose, so it wasn’t obvious.

  Levi noticed immediately and put a hand on her leg. “Shh, it’s okay…” He realized that in the last few hours of caring for her and talking with her, they still had not exchanged first names. He couldn’t help, but chuckle. “Miss? Douglas? Everyone has moments of weakness or sickness. I didn’t mind. But I do think we should maybe be less formal. I mean you have seen me in my Captain America boxers, and I have cleaned up your vomit. We really have moved to the next level.”

  He winked. “My name is Levi…”

  Bernie giggled at this, wiping at the tears that had spilled out. “Bernie, Bernadette, but everyone just calls me Bernie.”

  “That is a lovely name, Bernadette. It makes me think of a royal lady up in a tower.”

  “Well, it makes me feel like a nun. Thus, the Bernie. Hey, Levi? How did you get into my apartment anyways?” Before he could answer, though, a scowl crossed her face. “Oh yeah! Ashley, I’m going to kill that girl! Why would she give my keys to a total stranger? Especially one who had tried to give me a hefty ticket for something so minor. Ugh!”

  She remembered that she was not, in fact, sitting alone in her car, or in her head, and blushed.

  Levi shook his head and chuckled a little, but kept quiet as he pulled into the IHOP parking lot.

  Bernie reached for her handle.

  Levi looked at her with furrowed brows. “Excuse me? What do you take me for, young lady? I am a gentleman who was raised right. You just keep your pretty little bottom seated. I’ll come around and let you out.”

  Bernie was shocked still, for about half a second, and then let herself out. This wasn’t the 1950s for God’s sake, she could open her own damn door! She hopped out and started towards the restaurant.

  Levi strode over and scooped her up, she was too startled to fight him as he placed her back in the truck. “Excuse me, I seem to recall asking you to wait and let me open your door.”

  She felt a rush of excitement and a sense of humbling all at once and sat still as he closed the door, reopened it, and offered his hand to help her get out of the truck.

  He rewarded her obedience with a smile. “Much better, Bernadette. Good girl.”

  She blushed furiously, but, this time, it was in a very warm and happy way.

  He offered his arm and they walked inside. He immediately took charge, letting the host know that they would like a booth away from the doors. Since there was no seat to pull out, he gestured her into the booth, standing until she was fully settled, and then seated himself across from her. He ordered them both waters and coffee the moment they sat down.

  Bernie was so impressed at his take charge attitude that she forgot she was an independent woman and didn’t need him ordering anything for her.

  He opened the menu and smiled at her. “So what looks enticing, Miss Douglas? And don’t say fruit and a piece of toast. By your own admission, you haven’t eaten a full meal in over thirty-eight hours and we are going to rectify that right now.”

  Bernie felt like a naughty little girl being scolded and looked down at the table. This time when he said “Miss Douglas” it sounded very much i
n the vein of “Young Lady”. Trying not to look flustered, or make a repeat of the “yes sir” that poured out earlier, and was threatening to spill out again, Bernie looked intently at the menu. “Well, they do have some really healthy omelets. I could get an egg white veggie omlette with the toast and turkey bacon…”

  Levi glared at her for a moment, but decided to accept it. He couldn’t conquer Rome in a day and did not know her well enough to push further. “That sounds like a good choice. I am going to be much less healthy and get pancakes, bacon, sausage, and several scrambled eggs.”

  Once they made their orders, Levi rested his hands on the table. “Let’s get to know each other, Bernadette. We can each ask a question that the other person has to answer, but we also have to be willing to answer it ourselves. I will start, do you have any family in the area?”

  Bernie was glad he started with an easy one. “No. My parents live about three hours away, close enough to visit, but far enough they don’t bother me. And I don’t have any siblings. You?”

  “Well, like I started to say before, I have a large family. I am smack dab in the middle with three older brothers, two younger brothers, and one younger sister. They all live locally. My parents run a treatment center and ranch for youth who have experienced trauma or are just having a really hard time of it.”

  Bernie looked impressed. “Really? What’s it called? I am always looking for referrals for my kids. I am also jobless for the summer, so maybe if they needed some help…” She blushed, thinking she had overstepped. I mean Levi had just met her; he might not want her anywhere near his family. Especially with how much she had lied to him.

  Levi caught her look, but grinned at her. “They would love that. They are always looking for counselors and professionals who are able to help out at a reduced fee. They take anyone who needs help in no matter what income capacity they are able to pay, so they can’t afford a lot in money. But the kids make it totally worth it. They primarily work with teenagers, but, every once in a while, will get someone younger or older who needs some help. Oh, it’s Redemption Ranch, about forty minutes away. It’s not actually a working ranch, they have horses and stuff for therapy, but it flowed well as a name.”

  Bernie nodded. “I’ve heard of that. Didn’t they have some kid start a fire there recently?

  “Yeah, but no one got hurt and Jeremy was moved to a different facility. My parents thought they were going to lose their license over that one, but, when the state looked into it, they had nothing but praise for how my folks handled it.” Not wanting to monopolize the direction of the conversation, he nodded. “Your turn. You can ask anything you want to know, but don’t forget turnabout is fair play.”

  Bernie giggled and tapped her finger on her lip like she was thinking hard. “Hmm, what to ask, what to ask. Well, I already know you’re a cop, so how old are you?” She knew she had lowballed it, but she got worried about asking something too personal.

  “Twenty-seven, you?”

  “Twenty-three, but I’ll be twenty-four next week. Since that was so easy, can I ask another?”

  He laughed. “Go for it.”

  “Okay, um, you said you’re in the middle. Was it really hard having so many siblings? How old are they? Did you go to school around here?” She blushed realizing that was a lot more than one extra.

  His grin indicated he didn’t mind. “Sometimes, but usually I loved it, and I definitely appreciate my large family now. Judah is the oldest and he is thirty-one, then there are the twins Joseph and Benjamin who are twenty-nine, then me, then Reuben—he is twenty-three, Dan is nineteen, and our baby sister Ginny is seventeen. Mama said that she finally had a girl, so she was going to name her whatever she wanted. Her name is Virginia Annalisa Gretchen Jackson. Jude’s a pastor, the twins are both realtors, Reuben and Dan work for RR and Ginny is still in school, but she does a satellite school at home and goes to the community college. I grew up around here, but homeschooled and did church school until college, and I went local there as well. Lived at home to save money until about a year ago, so you could say I am a bit of a homebody.”

  Bernie listened in rapt attention. Having that much family sounded amazing and intimidating. Without thinking, she blurted out, “Your poor sister! I bet she is smothered with all that testosterone. How is she ever going to get a boyfriend if she doesn’t go to school and they have to make their way through her brothers?”

  Chuckling, Levi said, “That little girl is not getting a boyfriend. Ever. Or at least until she is thirty. We are incredibly protective of her. But she is pretty strong on her own. She is very into her studies and the work at the ranch. Maybe you should meet her, she wants to be a counselor and is obsessed with learning all she can about the field.”

  Bernie smiled genuinely. “I’d love to meet her! I am not a traditional counselor since my specialization is elementary education, but I would love to meet with her if she would like. I had to take several general counseling classes and thought I might want to go into adolescent psychology, but chose elementary instead.”

  The food arrived and they took a couple of minutes getting everything settled. Bernie was very excited at the idea of food, but also hated eating in front of other people. She meticulously cut up all of her food.

  Levi was familiar with those type of stall tactics, and tried to set her at ease. Taking a large bite of his own food he asked in a nonchalant tone, “So, I know you said that you’re an only child, was it hard? Lonely? Did you wish you had some more activity? I cannot imagine the quiet.”

  Bernie was grateful for the distraction and took a bite without thinking. “Yum! I love spinach. I guess it was good most of the time. My parents are kind of older, so they doted on me and gave me a lot of attention. Honestly, they pretty much gave me whatever I wanted. My mom was always around to read with me or go places or bake cookies. My Dad was retired by the time I was in junior high, so he was around a lot as well. We did a lot of family trips and dates to the movies or ice cream or stuff. They always welcomed my friends into the house, so, no, it wasn’t generally lonely. I grew up in Iowa and then we moved to Pennsylvania when I was in high school ‘cause Daddy’s parents were there. They died a couple years ago, but he wanted to be near them with the time they had left. I went to college down here near DC and then just stayed when I got my first job.”

  Levi looked interested. “What school?”

  “George Mason University?”

  Laughing, he said, “That’s my alma mater as well. But I did two years at the community college in high school, so I graduated from GMU at twenty and went to the academy from there. We just missed each other. But it’s my turn again and I have a doozy for you…”

  Bernie’s tummy turned, “doozy” sounded exciting, she glanced down at her plate and realized she’d been so into talking and listening she had eaten her entire omelet. Grabbing a piece of turkey bacon to gnaw on, she said, “Hit me!”

  Levi’s eyes twinkled. “Funny you would put it that way…”

  Bernie’s stomach fell and she set down the bacon. She had an inkling where this was heading, and it wasn’t a place she was sure she wanted to go.

  Levi stared at her intently for a long moment before continuing in a conversational tone. “Why did you tell me you were married and pregnant when you obviously are neither? And, where on earth did you get the crazy idea to say you would get spanked for a ticket? I’ll be honest, Miss Douglas, that is not an excuse I have ever heard as a reason for me to forego ticketing someone.”

  Bernie started playing with her napkin, ripping it into little, teeny, tiny, pieces.

  Levi waited patiently and, when he could tell she was not going to speak, he gently leaned over and tapped her chin with his finger and said in a gentle tone, “I asked you a question, Miss Douglas. I am not mad, but I genuinely need to know your answer.”

  Bernie swallowed and looked deeply into his eyes. “I… I don’t know. It just fell out. Probably because I wish it was true. I wish I had someo
ne waiting at home to spank me for stupid choices and to hug away the pain and make me feel better and help me stop being such an idiot… and great! Now you’re going to know I am a freak. Freaky Bernie who wants her ass paddled.” Hot, angry embarrassed tears rolled down her cheeks and she couldn’t look at his face, but he grabbed her hands and squeezed.

  “Bernadette, you are not a freak. Not in any sense of the word. You are an incredibly attractive, interesting funny woman who I have been envisioning tossing over my knee and taking my hand to her bare butt for over three months,” he said seriously.

  Bernie looked up in shock, mouth wide open, so shocked the tears stopped flowing. “Y-y-you what?”

  Levi started laughing at her expression and nodded. “If you’re a freak, then I am even more of one. Try being a cop whose job is to serve and protect and having to explain to people that your proclivities in protecting women also lead you to want to paddle their behinds until they are crimson red.”

  Bernie couldn’t believe her ears. She just… couldn’t. “You like to… you like to sp-sp… discipline gir-people?” She stammered out.

  Levi shook his head. “Not just any people, and not just any girls either. I don’t go around swatting random ladies’ behinds or anything. To be honest, I haven’t spanked anyone in years, but, ever since that traffic stop, I’ve been dreaming about taking you in hand, Miss Douglas. Not just ‘some girl,’ but you specifically—with your curvy ass and your sassy smile and your amazing body.” He knew he was crossing all sorts of boundaries about what was appropriate, but he felt like he needed to just be as open, honest, and frank as he could be. “I want to talk you through all of the bad choices you made, not the least of which was lying to my face and then perpetuating the falsehood in the courtroom, and then expose your bare bottom, pull you over my knee and start spanking your bottom with my hand. For a long long time. Until your ass and thighs are the color of that hot number you had on last night. Then I want to stand you in the corner—on display—to think about your choices while I just watch and take in the sight.”